This one’s important. People don’t ask it on the tour — too polite — but you can see it in their eyes about twenty minutes in. Happens just after the second bridge, when the wind hits and the coffee kicks in.
Where can you go? I mean actually go — without buying a €5 latte or pretending you’re browsing candles in a hotel lobby gift shop.
Here’s the truth: Dublin is not a toilet-friendly city. Never has been. The public loos that existed got shut down, graffitied, or turned into cafés. So you’ve got to know where to go, or you’re just gambling with your dignity.
1. Shopping Centres (Get in, Get Out)
You’re mostly safe in these:
- Jervis Centre – First floor, up the escalator, behind the food court. No one checks. Looks like you’re just getting bubble tea.
- Stephen’s Green Centre – Downstairs near Dunnes. Not glamorous, but it’s a toilet, not a wedding venue.
- Ilac Centre – Bit sketchier, but still serviceable. Avoid during school holidays unless you enjoy queues and mop buckets.
Tip: Walk with purpose. Don’t loiter near the maps or look nervous. Pretend you’ve worked there for years and hate everyone.
2. Hotels (Act Like You Belong)
If you’re feeling bold:
- The Westin (near Trinity) – In through the side entrance. Keep moving. Say “afternoon” to no one in particular.
- The Clarence (near Temple Bar) – Go in like you’re meeting a cousin. Quick left after the lobby, act annoyed.
Hotels usually won’t stop you unless you look like you’re casing the place. Dress like a tourist and you’re fine. Dress like a local and you’re suspicious.
3. Bars and Cafés (Buy the Cheapest Thing or Bluff Hard)
Some places will let you in no bother. Others will have signs like “TOILETS FOR CUSTOMERS ONLY” written in Comic Sans and backed by passive-aggressive energy.
If you feel bad, buy a small tea. If you don’t, just head straight in and avoid eye contact. Pretend you’re looking for someone. Or say you were in earlier. No one ever checks.
Avoid at all costs: Temple Bar pubs on Saturday afternoons. Either the toilets are locked, full, broken, or being used for something you don’t want to walk in on.
4. Museums and Galleries (Clean, Quiet, No One Cares)
- National Gallery – Beautiful building, solid toilets, zero judgement.
- Chester Beatty Library – Tucked inside Dublin Castle grounds. Best kept secret in the city. Honestly cleaner than most people’s houses.
Cultural places tend to attract people who pretend not to notice you. Use that to your advantage.
5. Train Stations (Only If You’re Desperate)
- Connolly Station – Pay toilet, smells like bleach and regret. Bring coins.
- Heuston Station – Marginally better. Still feels like someone’s watching you. They probably are.
You don’t want to end up here unless your options are gone and your bladder’s making decisions for you.
6. Absolutely Not: Laneways, Parks, Behind Bins
Tempting, I know. Especially late at night after a few pints. But don’t. Cameras everywhere now. You’ll end up on a Garda Facebook page called “Eejits of Dublin” with your trousers half down and your face blurred out.
Also, it’s just grim. Don’t be that person.
Final Advice
If you’re on foot in the city and need the loo, don’t wait too long. You’ll panic and make bad choices. Get in somewhere early, even if you think you can hold it. Trust me — I’ve seen too many grown adults dancing side to side on Bachelor’s Walk while I try to explain Viking settlements.
And no, there aren’t any hidden Victorian toilets left. That’s a myth. If they do exist, they’re either locked or full of rats doing their own tour.
Next time someone tells you Dublin’s a world-class city, ask them how long they’d last here with a full bladder and no coins.
That’ll separate the locals from the dreamers.
