You’ll notice it if you’re not from here. No one really says “hello.” Not properly. Not like in other cities where people seem genuinely delighted to see you. In Dublin, greetings are something we do by accident, or under duress.
It’s not that we’re rude. We just don’t like making a fuss. Saying “hello” sounds too formal. Too sincere. Like something’s wrong.
We’ve developed workarounds.
“Alright?” — This is the classic. Doesn’t mean they think you look unwell. Doesn’t mean they care how your day is going. It’s just noise. A nod in word form. If someone says “Alright?” to you, the correct response is either “Alright,” “Yeah,” or just another nod. Anything more is suspicious.
“How’s things?” — This is slightly warmer, but still surface-level. It’s code for “I’ve seen you, let’s not ignore each other, but also let’s not get into feelings.”
“What’s the story?” — Said more by fellas. Can mean anything from “Hello” to “Why are you late?” to “You look rough.” Doesn’t require a story in response. Saying “Not much” is fine. Saying nothing also works.
“Look who it is” — This is reserved for people you know but haven’t seen in a while. Can be affectionate or sarcastic depending on tone. Sometimes said with a smile. Sometimes with folded arms.
“Well” — This one’s a mystery to visitors. “Well?” they say. “Well what?” But it’s a greeting. Short for “Are you well?” even though it has nothing to do with your health. Said quickly, usually with a slight raise of the head. “Well.” And that’s the whole exchange.
“Hiya” — Bit more common now, mostly among younger people and women. Still soft, still not pushy. But rarely followed up with anything. Just an opener that doesn’t open anything.
You never hear “Good morning” unless someone’s trying to sell you something. “How do you do” is extinct. “Hello” is for work emails and people who say “toodle-oo” unironically.
The point is, we avoid the front door of conversation and sneak in the side window instead. Always have.
It’s not coldness. It’s just wiring. We’re bred for understatement. You nod. You grunt. You half-smile and look away. That’s how you show affection. Anything more feels like you’re about to ask for money.
I once had a woman from Canada on a tour ask why no one smiled back at her on the street. I said it’s not that they don’t like you. It’s that you broke the code. You’re smiling like you know them. That triggers something deep in the Irish brain that says: Avoid. Too intense. Might try to sell essential oils.
Now, give it time. Once you’re in with people — once you’ve had a few pints, or a long wait in the rain with someone at a bus stop — the warmth comes out. The stories, the jokes, the open-hearted stuff. It’s there. It’s just behind a few layers of social Kevlar.
Until then, don’t worry if people pass you without a word. That’s normal here. In fact, it’s how you know you’re blending in.
So next time someone passes and mutters “Alright?” without making eye contact, just nod back and keep walking.
Congratulations. You’ve been greeted like a local.
